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I am one of three senior managers within a “highly matrixed organization.” I am very close with Manager 1, but she and I constantly raise our eyebrows at Manager 3, who is excellent at creating opportunities for visibility. In meetings with middle management, she finds ways to keep the attention of management for longer, sometimes by interjecting when we’re speaking with unrelated but attention-grabbing points. She regularly finds time to take on projects beyond the scope of our work. For example, she started a learning series for the younger associate managers. This is great for the team, and Manager 1 and I have participated, but Manager 3 went out of her way to brand the series as HERS. Manager 1 and I frequently host trainings, too, but we never thought to brand them and tell the entire organization. Most recently, Manager 3 announced that she was starting a “Get to know our executives” series and would be interviewing them herself for the whole organization.

Though I am angry she is playing the game better than I am, I don’t want my job to be a game! I prefer to come in and do a good job at my actual job description! When you look at the numbers, my brands are actually outperforming hers. But, with all the visibility she earns, I am beginning to feel like the work of my actual job isn’t what matters. If these attention-seeking endeavors were actually part of the job, I could take them on. When Manager 1 or I try something new or host a training, we loop each other in. We are in lock step and want each other to succeed. We both feel that the goal of Manager 3 is to bury us, and it’s making both of us miserable (and nervous for the next time a promotion opens up). What would you do in our shoes?

— Anonymous

Manager 3 is clearly willing to take initiative. I can see why that could be grating, but instead of becoming frustrated, perhaps you should adopt some of the strategies that serve her so well. You say that she’s going beyond the “actual job description,” but that is, generally, what it takes to succeed in almost any endeavor. You want your professional life to arrange itself according to your preferences, but the only way to achieve that is to be self-employed. If you simply want to work to the job description, as is your right, that’s fine! But you can’t do that and resent people who choose to do more.

Now, the most interesting part of your letter is that you have better numbers. Find ways to highlight that! You don’t even need to bring Manager 3 into that conversation. You’re succeeding — let it be known! When you carry out interesting ideas, take credit. Your colleague is really good at self-promotion. Instead of being angry with her, consider which of her strategies you can adopt. There are ways of “playing the game” that don’t feel like you’re playing the game.